I’m on my fourth year of working on my sparrow series.  Time has flown!

As of this update – there are currently 69 works completed in the sparrow series and many more to come!

If you’re new here, to recap:

My Own Voice

I have spent the better part of a lifetime struggling to find a voice. My voice. I’m a self-taught artist, you see, and I recognize that I’ve had a lot of personal hurdles to jump; not feeling like I’m “enough” would be the biggest.

In the process of learning art – I have copied artists that I love, flitting from one type of art to another: painting (oil, acrylic and watercolor), collage, pastel, colored pencil, graphite drawing, sculpture, fiber art, book making, and jewelry making. I have emulated their artistic styles and their subjects – and like trying on clothes and pre-worn shoes at Goodwill – the final result was decent, but somehow not satisfying.

Satisfaction

Don’t get me wrong, I love shopping at Goodwill – digging into the rows and rows of inexpensive hand-me-downs looking for a gem. I love me a bargain.

But there is something about cracking open a new book, a journal that hasn’t been touched yet, or putting on clothes that are new, that sparks a different sort of excitement. (Note to self: try ironing and starching new Goodwill purchases).

I’ve been struggling to find that same excitement or perhaps convey that same excitement in my own work; struggling with taking all my lessons learned and telling a story of my own.

And, speaking of stories – what do I have to say? What do I want to say? And who is going to listen to me anyway? (See – it’s the “enough” thing raising its ugly head).

Self-Discovery

They say that an artist’s voice is a unique and recognizable artistic style that is distinctly your own; your inspiration, your materials, techniques, themes and color palette all working together in a way that looks like it comes from you and no one else.

I read in one of the many, many art blogs I have perused over the years: many artists grapple with finding their voice, but most don’t realize their voice is there from the beginning, they just need to hear it and follow it. This is the reason we always refer to finding a voice, not developing one.

This idea that the voice is there all along but that you just have to pay attention to it – finally notice it.

This concept caught hold of my imagination.

If my artwork is going to be a personal representation of who I am as an artist – as a person with a story to tell – I will create a body of work that mirrors my life experience; that contains flashes of insight I have gained along my path to self-discovery .

A sort-of artistic journal with a twist: I will create drawings and paintings of sparrows living moments of my life.

Roots

My Dad raised birds of all sorts: ducks, chickens, geese, guinea hens, pigeons, cockatiels, love birds, finches and parakeets – in flocks. There were always been birds in and around our house scattering seeds and squawking at the most inopportune times.

My mother kept bird feeders for wild birds – all species were welcome. Her relationship to birds had a great impact on me. The flashy red, blue and yellow birds were always a delight. However, she noticed the small, usually un-noticed birds, and was continually delighted by their coming to visit her windows. The robins, cow birds, and snow birds that heralded the seasons or the happy, silly and busy chickadees and sparrows received the same attention.

But, sparrows… sparrows are always around, no matter where you live: the city, country a suburb – they’re there – and nobody ever mentions seeing them. If we just pay attention long enough you can see they are there busily living their lives – going about their business – doing random and sometimes comical, ridiculous things.

And sometimes, that’s how I feel. I’m busily living my life – going to work, taking the trash out and going to the grocery store and then, some random and comical experience happens. These moments bring me joy.

Joy: if you know me personally, you know I laugh. I’m jolly. I laugh a lot.

Symbolism of Sparrows

Many artists incorporate symbolism into their paintings – that’s a technique that I admire and often aspire to.

So, if you’re like me – you google things like “symbolism of sparrows” to try to get an understanding of any beliefs that may be out there about the species.

I wasn’t disappointed:

“They are a symbol of joy, simplicity, creativity, friendship, protection and productivity.
the sparrow symbolizes self – worth and higher ideals. It inspires us to take things lightly.”

I mentioned that I laugh a lot, right? I love the idea that sparrows can represent the simple joys of life.

“They symbolize power, regardless of size. They are also a symbol of persistence, diligence, productivity and hard work.  ( I have been at this for four years now!) Sparrows also symbolize courage and caution. They are a sign of intelligence, skills, abilities and creativity.

They remind us to be happy, joyful, friendly and compassionate towards other people. They are also a boost to our self-confidence and dignity. They teach us self – love, but also to care for others.”

This one is a little deeper… did I mention that I’m (as of this writing) 56?I’ve been struggling with this art stuff and finding a path and becoming something for a long time! I strive to be continually productive – to create consistently and hone my skills. I like to believe I’m intelligent but also friendly and compassionate. Even if I’m not these things, they are wonderful attributes to aspire to or cultivate. Lastly, self-love – Ugh! this is a hard one – but, definitely something to work on.

“They also teach us the importance of the group we belong to and the need to adapt and creatively solve problems in various life situations.”

My Dad always said, “If you lay down with dogs you’ll get up with fleas” – I love that saying. (As a teen-ager I hated that saying.) But, now that I’m older and have raised teens that seemed to acquire some of the sketchiest friends (you know who you are) I can appreciate the importance of the people you have around you. They raise you up with their loving support or drag you down and drain you with their neediness. I’m still learning to choose wisely.

“The sparrow was a sacred bird to Aphrodite, the goddess of love, and symbolized true love and a spiritual connection, not just lust. (Although in contradiction to this, sparrows are often regarded as the most lustful and sexually active birds!)”

Bow-Chicka-wow-wow! These are birds after my own heart!

In Conclusion

This is me.

This is my voice.

I hope you’ll pay attention once in a while – drop in and see what I’m up to – and maybe find some joy along the way.